Little things that piss people off.
From Lifes's Little Destruction Book By Charles Sherwood Dane
- Take the hotel towel
- Pay tolls with $100 bills
- Practice the art of limp handshakes
- Tell the ending of movies
- Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
- Leave the toilet seat up
- Take more than 10 items to the express checkout lane
- Turn on your brights for oncoming traffic
- Finish other people's crossword puzzles
- Use the last square of toilet paper
- Tailgate the elderly
- Drum your fingers during other people's presentations
- Blow out other people's birthday candles
- Don't leave a message at the beep
- Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot
- Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways
- Eat produce at the market; don't buy it
- When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
- Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food wrappings and those sorts of things
- Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
- Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures
- See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window
- Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations
- Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
- Go up the down escalator
- Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines
- Snap your gum
- Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave the cap off
- Open umbrellas in crowded hallways
- Announce when you're going to the bathroom
- Read over other people's shoulders on the bus
- When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you
- Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want
- Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower
- Chew other people's pencils
- Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair
- Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces
- Tell teenagers how things were in your day
- Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation
- Pee in the swimming pool
- Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in
- Wear large hats during the movies
- Forget the pooper scooper
- Race the old woman for the last bus seat
- Cause gridlock
- Bring 15 things into the dressing room
- Draw mustaches on posters
- Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back
- Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on Thanksgiving
- Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you
- Touch strangers
- Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
- Bite your dentist's finger
- Fart in cramped places
- Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads
- Don't stand during hymns and anthems
- Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa
- Rubberneck
- Leave pages in the copier
- Be "in conference" all the time
- Don't clean the dryer lint screen
- Buy it, wear it, return it
- Tell people they have bad breath
- Smell smoke often and announce it
- Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet
- Put everyone on speakerphone
- Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you
- Rain on someone's parade
- Make scary faces at babies
- Flirt with a friend's spouse
- Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team
- Pretend you're listening
- Shake with your left hand
Adam Sandler
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